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▸ Dear mum.... ... ♬
Saturday, June 11, 2011
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I guess i was born by accident huh ? I do not belong here. There's no point living. Maybe you just kept me because you dont want to kill a child. But nevertheless I'm sorry I'm not the kind of daughter you wanted. I'm sorry I grow up too fast. I'm sorry that I'd rather spend more days with my friends. I'm sorry I failed you. I'm sorry I'm useless. I'm sorry I keep on lying. I'm sorry I never appreciate the things you do for me. I'm sorry I take things for granted. I'm sorry for all the mistakes i had done. I'm sorry for making your life miserable. But I don't do drugs. I stopped smoking. I don't drink that much anymore. I only go to those party who were made by my close friends only. I don't stay out till 3am on a weekday . I rarely skip classes but I don't make you proud either. You're always nagging at me because I'm not focused, because I'm on Facebook and MSN chatting with my friends instead of doing my homework. I'm not perfect, there are still much more kids worse that me. why can't you see that? I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for being the daughter you never wanted, for displeasing you. I know i failed most of your expectations and i disappoint you a lot of times but I just wish that you would understand how hard I've tried to do the right things.
My friends may be a bad influence to me but I don't do anything like that. They asked me out a lot of times , but sometimes i just say no even without asking you. I may not get good grades, but you don't know how hard is it to get them. You always compare me to you other friend's daughter(s) or son(s) . Just comparing me like that already make me feel useless.
I may not show you I love you, but deep inside I do. I really really do. More than anything in the world. And no, I'm not writing this just because of what happened just now. I wrote this because I truly loved you. ♥
